As you all know from my Instagram, I received my PET scan results back just recently. The result was showing that all the cancer has gone in my body, YASSS. Apart from the two nodes in my neck, one of them grown by a millimetre. These results aren’t bad, although I couldn’t help but feel super deflated when I found out. I had high expectations things were going to be super decreased and or, goneskies. I felt as though every time I’m feeling positive about results that’s when it slaps me in the face. I just don’t get it!
I’ve been feeling super down the last few days while I’ve been processing these results and I’ve felt so fearful that this is just never going to end. Am I going to have my life back? Will this be all behind me one day? Overthinking is the devil. I’ve had absolutely no energy to do anything or even barely talk to anyone. I’ve felt like poop. Like I said, I know these results aren’t that bad, but as a cancer patient, growth is growth no matter the size and that’s not the direction I wanted to see it going. The only growth I wanna see is my lush new locks thanks! Which by the way, grows by the night I swear. I am sooo excited to be able to put it up in a pony tail or a bun. Just anything to pull it off my face.. Short hair problems. Anyways, falling off topic. I was honestly hoping to see all cancer had gone from my body. Next time, maybe I should go in without expectations. Seems to be the way to go.
My doctor took my case to her meeting as they were to discuss a possible biopsy to the node which won’t be happening now as they have agreed it’s not necessary. A couple things I have taken from my just recent phone call is that my previous scan before this one was just a PET scan alone, this time I had the PET and a CT straight afterwards that involves contrast which highlights the areas. I know none of this is going to make sense to you, but I shall explain anyways. So basically a CT with contrast will pick up more and is more defiant I suppose. So they are unaware if there has actually been growth or my previous scan just hadn’t picked up all cancer. If that makes sense…. What a mind f*ck haha.
Basically they are happy with how I’m responding to this immunotherapy and will do another scan in a couple of months with another CT along with it so we can do a good comparison. Possible radiation may be in order as my doctor was thinking maybe the immunotherapy has gotten all it can and just needs further assisting with radio. Fingers, toes, arms and eyes crossed I’ll be in remission. So. Damn. Close babyyyyy. It’s all a bit confusing and doesn’t seem super duper accurate but it all feels a bit more promising to me.
Super complicated, super complex, medical jargon… Man I hate doctor talk.